Every conversation a confrontation. Every request a battle. Rising emotions met with a smirk.
Rules are important, for others. Those others who break the rules are scum. Pure and simple. But there’s no rules allowed here. You want rules? You delusional old fool. Put them in the bin, with dinner.
Rudeness (it’s more than rudeness, but we call it that to avoid calling a spade a spade) chips away at the soul. Soul destroying. Protect the soul and the peace by slicing away parts of yourself. Soon there will be nothing left.
Walk away. Stay calm. Stay regulated. Describe rising anger, but don’t let it see the light of day. An overwhelming anger. Technicolour anger. Not allowed to be angry. (Anger isn’t a real emotion.) How dare.you.speak.to.me.like.that.
No one in my life has ever spoken to me like that.
An urge to hurl a plate at a window. To run into the street and scream and lie in the road and be taken away and not to care anymore. Or to drive. Away from here. And cry like someone has died. (Someone has died.)
You don’t mean it? Repair and recovery? Right now? An emptiness of instant words and empty-headed reconciliation. Lost for words.
Day-in-day-out. Relentless. Soul destroying.
You want the silver lining? Right now I don’t have one to give.